Are you and your partner in an intimate rut that you both want to pull out from but are not sure how? Are you sexually stagnant and perform the same routine over and over with satisfying, but not thrilling or exciting, results? Do you yearn for something physically or mentally more but feel incapable of reaching it? If so, the answer you may be seeking is a personal journey you can share with your companion that expands your horizons, deepens your trust, and reignites the spark in your relationship. The place to begin looking is further down your YesNoMaybe list!
When completing our survey, individuals rank their interest level in a wide range of kinks. Some will be intriguing turn ons and some will be "no way in hell" turn offs -- but there will be a handful of activities you score 'Maybe' or even 'Fantasy Only'. To push outside your comfort range and seek sexual growth, these are the kinks to focus on. The psychology behind evaluating a 'Maybe' is a mix of curious interest and uncomfortable fear. For instance, if one selected 'Maybe' or 'Fantasy Only' for a threesome, they might have a latent desire for such an activity but are also apprehensive for a variety of reasons; what if either my partner or I develop emotional feelings for the third? Can we be safe from STDs? What if one of us wants to do it again while the other doesn't? Where would we even begin to find a third person to include?
Exploration allows companions to decouple these positive and negative forces churning in our 'Maybes' as we safely choose to focus on only certain aspects of the kink. Accepting our interest empowers us to move forward tactfully. Admitting desires of a threesome doesn't necessarily mean a couple has to post an ad online for a fuck buddy; instead they can roleplay both in bed and outside in order to play with the fantasy. Whether using toys for additional stimulation during passionate moments or whispers in each other's ears about strangers they see and would pick up when out at a pub, embracing the kink does not necessarily require fulfillment of it. Inclusion of the activity, however, broadens the sexual toolkit within the relationship and provides space for self-expression and discovery.
Most importantly, with each step taken beyond the comfort zone together -- with every slight reveal of oneself to the other -- a greater trust and care is built. By gently exploring the crevasses of the other's sexuality and holding them sacred while being open and vulnerable ourselves, we strengthen our bond so immensely. It is through such actions that can rediscover ourselves and our partner again. It is here, holding hands together in the unknown of our 'Maybes' that we understand what true love can be.
